How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

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KKK

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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