Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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melon

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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Women's rights

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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