How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Gorden Brown.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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I hate long jokes -_-

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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