- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Today is May 18 2016.

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.