Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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