What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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A women president

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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