Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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tea with milk?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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xavier stop

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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