Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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tea with milk?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Your mums a penis joke.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops