Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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