"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Today is May 18 2016.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops