That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

thumb_up thumb_down

do not read this(this is intended to be read)

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down

When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down

getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops