What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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hi

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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Dogs in my home.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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