How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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knock, knock. come in.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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;aosughdfo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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