Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops