A women president

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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