What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops