Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Nippies

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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