when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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this is not a joke

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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whats black? a black man

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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WNBA

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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