this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

i like turtals and kids

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

cancer

knock knock!! kanye west

Yes.

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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