Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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