A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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I saw a shovel once.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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