How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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lol a man is drowning

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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tea with milk?

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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Membean

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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I saw a poor man named rich

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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