What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops