A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

Black History Month

Trolololollolololololololololololololol

A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How old is victor? Half past dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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