A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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