Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Strawberries!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black cop? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

bum sex lol

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops