A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops