Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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