How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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