It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops