Zach Barlow

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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