Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Zach Barlow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops