You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

Lol! Why you wanna know?

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

meme

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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