Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Zach Barlow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops