A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

Im ashamed of being from Canada

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

Jews.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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