The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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whats 2+2? math.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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bob saget

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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