Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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I think everybody ought to have a penis.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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