Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

fruit salad?

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

penus

Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

Johan showering. . . AWK

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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