How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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*you're

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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how do you confuse a blond?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops