What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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hi corey

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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