How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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