Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

hipsters

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

Women's rights.

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

WNBA

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

lol a man is drowning

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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