Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Hi

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops