What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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