Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Hello

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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How old is your mom? Old.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Your mom is fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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