What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock, knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

thumb_up thumb_down -16

IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops