As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops