Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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lol

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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