Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Hi

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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