Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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I was born.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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