A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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