What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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